man imagine aliens w no concept of interspecies cooperation or pets
‘commander the scan of this shelter reveals three primary lifeforms’
‘excellent. elaborate please’
‘all mammals. two quadrupeds, one feline and one canine, as well as one biped sapien. they appear to be… relaxing and eating in a shared space’
‘what the fuck’
imagine these guys trying to be really polite about it because for some reason the bipeds really enjoy harboring these strange freeloading carnivores. an alien warlord meeting some diplomat’s cat and being all tentatively like ‘ah… yes. your parasite is remarkably large and complacent. you are no doubt a very well-used host and oh my stars don’t let it touch me no no NO.’
“but what function do they serve”
“well sometimes they catch pests or protect us from intruders”
“ah I see very sensible”
“but mostly we just hug them whether they want us to or not”
??? someone broke into my grandmas house while she was gone & shaved the matted fur off her cat
i want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here
would also like to add that this occcurred sometime between 11 pm & 9 am. we have no leads. the cat is fine & probably appreciates not having a huge mat on his neck, but, like, that’s a really weird kind of vigilante justice, still
she looks like the woman named margaret who sits in the front of the office and has a betty boop calendar and usually is a little stressed out because no one ever puts the outgoing mail in the right place and she’s not really great with this whole “google docs” thing yet but she always remembers to fill up her candy jar with peanut m&ms in seasonal colors and when she finally retires this whole place will fall apart probably
i wonder if my pets have like a proper language and when i try to speak back to them im just speaking jargon
like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like
Speak with Tenderness 