keepmywhiskeyneat:

TRUE STORY

One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice Mormon lady handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.

(I hate to be a party pooper, but that’s not a Mormon pamphlet, and Mormon missionaries always come in pairs.  I’m sure she was very nice, but there’s a 99% chance she wasn’t Mormon. This is the image from which all official Mormon images of Jesus Christ are based.)